apple OR rainbow...

得=失？

2012-01-02T10:26:00.002+08:00

好执着的得失心
世界每天都在改变
拥有，也会失去
没有拥有，就没有失去
可是
我们总是想要拥有……

幾米的童話城堡

2011-11-28T21:32:00.001+08:00

親愛的自己，不要抓住回憶不放，

斷了線的風箏，只能讓它飛，

放過它，更是放過自己；

親愛的自己，你必須找到除了愛情之外，

能夠使你用雙腳堅強站在大地上的東西；

親愛的自己，你要自信甚至是自戀一點，

時刻提醒自己我值得擁有最好的一切。
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本文轉自網絡《給自己的一封信》

我真是不懂……

2011-11-24T13:21:00.003+08:00

很多人都说，天下的父母都是爱子女的……
可是……很多时候……他们就是不懂得正确的表达他们的爱……

同样的事件，不同的回应
一个是我想要的，一个是我难以接受的
我只想要一句安慰
可是得到的
不是安慰
而是更多的压力

为何我不想把事情告诉你
告诉你又怎样？
你只会不断地给我压力
你就不能说一些无谓，可是却有效的话吗？

常说我很会花钱
别人会存钱，我不会存钱
常拿我和其他人比较
可是你有没有想过
别家的小孩
手机，是父母买的
电脑，是父母买的
机票，是父母买的
日常用品，也是从家里带来的
不够钱用，是父母给的，不是向父母借的……
我是我，他是他
我也是你教出来的
除了怨你自己，你还能怨谁？

人家说……

2011-08-09T01:11:00.002+08:00

人家说：你对别人好，别人不一定会对你好。

今天，我终于感受到这种滋味……

自由？

2011-06-19T07:42:00.002+08:00

虽然口口声声说不想呆在家，在家没自由。但到了今天，真的要走了，反而觉得很不舍。

还想继续呆在家，逃避现实生活……

bleeding heart...

2011-06-17T21:06:00.003+08:00

很失落，很伤心。除了疗伤，我还能怎样？以为陪妈妈去逛街可以散散心，其实是没用的。坐在车上，眼泪自动地流了下来。可是又不能让妈妈知道，又快快把眼泪擦掉。这种感觉好痛苦，我要快快摆脱它。

为何我要为了一个无畏的东西而烦？我就不能看开一点吗？自己在默默的心痛，有用吗？

烦恼

2011-06-16T15:31:00.002+08:00

烦恼啊！怎么我好像永远摆脱不了你。烦完了一个又一个。人家说，只要要求别那么高，别在意那么多，烦恼就会减少，可是有时候就是过不了自己那一关。自寻烦恼，这句话是真的。

这个烦恼，纠缠了我很久。有时多，有时少。总是摆脱不了他。为何我就是不能知足常乐？我会告诉人家，知足常乐。可是，我自己子会讲，根本不明白这句话的真正意思。我哪有资格安慰人家知足常乐？

迷失……

2011-05-01T00:05:00.003+08:00

找了那么久
总算
找到答案了
可是
却失去了方向
失去了目标
生活也好像失去了意义

我相信时间
可以让我找回方向、目标……
我也不懂我还需要多少时间……

答案

2011-03-31T01:09:00.000+08:00

想了好久
烦了好久
只为了要一个
答案……

Can't stop thinking...

2011-03-10T00:55:00.003+08:00

Everytime this incident flashed across my mind
i started think
in a negative way

i feel
deeply sad
no other words can describe my feeling
it is hurt
really really deep

it is so close to me
but
i can't take it
i can't get it
it is
torturing!

我……走错路了吗？

2011-03-08T20:47:00.004+08:00

原本想将来可以过着轻松的生活
所以选择了教育界

但是

事实证明
这条路
比我想象中难几千倍、几万倍……
我……
后悔了吗？

以前看着老师们
个个可以有很多时间陪家人
工作时间只是半天
没有好像在公司上班的
从早到晚
教育界
原来不是我想象的那么简单！

后悔了？哈哈……
原本一点兴趣也没有的我……
慢慢的建立起来了
至少
至少总算有一点点兴趣
还需要些，时间

既然选择了
后悔也没用
没有回头路
只能向前走

My heart is bleeding profusely...

2011-03-08T07:10:00.003+08:00

Yes yes yes...
the reality is so cruel...
unexpected? shocked?
what else can i do?

我……变了……

2011-02-25T20:38:00.002+08:00

最近脾气很暴躁
一点点小事就大骂
一点点小事就埋怨
一点点小事……就失去理智

无形中
变成了一个没有耐性的人
变成了一个……
我都不能接受我自己的人……

怎么办？
有些事情真的看不过眼
不讲也不是
讲了又不是

真的很烦……很烦……

面子……

2011-01-29T20:51:00.002+08:00

我知道，我很在意自己的面子
但是
我才知道，我是多么的在意

一些事情
让我很伤心
面子有那么重要吗？

有人说
不要在意别人怎样看
做自己想做的就对了
可是我做不到
做着自己想要的
可是
我还是很在意

Delete...

2010-12-27T00:10:00.003+08:00

I can delete everything
but
i cant delete something in my mind

it is already embedded in my mind
since..i'm not sure when

but now
i wish i can delete it

i can't
unless
i lost my memory...

不在乎……

2010-11-28T01:04:00.001+08:00

不知道什么时候
我变得那么不在乎

为何要在乎那么多
你是谁
你不需要我的在乎
你只需要他的在乎

问也不问多一句
写也不所写一些
就是不想在乎
就是不想关心

到底我要什么？

Yes i can!

2010-11-27T02:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday
was a miracle

i will step out
very soon
add oil to myself...

Will you still find me if I stop disturbing you?

2010-11-25T15:31:00.001+08:00

I found this post from my friend's fb status
Someone flashed across my mind
In my guess, the answer is NO...

I deleted almost everything
I thrown almost everything
I hide it from my sight
What i can't delete is..our memories..
Which embedded in my mind for a long time ago..till now...

Will you still find me if I stop disturbing you?
Will you still find me if didn't borrow something from you?
Will you still find me if I have nothing to give you?
Will you still find me FOR NOTHING?

Shontelle Impossible

2010-11-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy (i was happy)
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

a simple answer

2010-10-18T00:35:00.002+08:00

a simple answer
makes me think twice
even more than twice

what is your hidden answer?

same..

2010-09-30T02:21:00.000+08:00

days passed
but it is still the same

Yea...

2010-08-16T21:01:00.002+08:00

Don't know why
Today,
I'm really happy.
Will tomorrow be the same like today?

Friends,
I love u all very much..

If you LOVE something

2010-08-14T20:29:00.001+08:00

If you love something
let It be free
to decide
whether to come
or to go

If It comes to you
It loves you too
Accept it, with an open heart

If It goes away
It does not want to hurt you
Accept it too
but not with a broken heart

I hate myself

2010-08-05T18:17:00.002+08:00

I thought i let go already
but actually
I just don't think of it for a moment

Seems like I can't let go forever
Why am I think like that
Why I can't change my mind
Why I can't control myself

I hate the word let go
It always appear in my mind yet i can't do it
I hate it!

I'm too late

2010-08-02T15:20:00.003+08:00

I'm too late
to realise it

You're always by my side
but i didn't appreciate it

You won't stop me from doing anything
you give me the freedom
still i didn't appreciate it

You care for me
but i didn't realise

In these years
I thought myself hate u
but actually
I love you very much...

Alone

2010-07-28T20:16:00.002+08:00

I saw you walking alone
I feel pity on you
I hope that you are not alone

Maybe
I should accompany you

But
Some feelings stopped me

Will it continue like this?
Or there may be some changes one day...

无言

2010-07-17T20:35:00.002+08:00

如果不说
就肯定一辈子都是朋友
但是如果说了
随时连朋友也做不成

Time

2010-07-16T19:49:00.004+08:00

Time pass so fast
3rd week is going to end soon
i don't know why
i start to love this semester

No more stress like before
is that me?
i can't believe that!

Looking forward for our class trip
it's great

Maybe because of the responsibilities on me
i can't fully enjoy my day
but i can say that
i enjoy my life here

A big thanks to my coursemates and friends, i love u all very much..

Rainy day...

2010-07-07T14:49:00.005+08:00

Somehow, i like rainy day
it makes me feel calm

rainy day equal to sad day?
i don't think so

enjoy hearing the rain drops
fall on the roof

although sometimes it brings inconvenience
but i like it

When I...

2010-07-05T19:51:00.001+08:00

When i wait for the word
u didn't say it

When i didn't wait for it anymore
u say it

what should i respond?

Stress

2010-07-02T22:14:00.004+08:00

I have gone through a week
with much stress
that
i can't believe it

i need to manage it
but i'm still finding the right way

stress make me mad
stress make me cry
stress make me feel that life is so
-meaningless-

Forced

2010-06-27T10:49:00.004+08:00

when you are forced to do something you don't like
it feel bad
it is torturing
and yet it wont bring satisfactions

so why not try to like it?
yes, i should like it
slowly...

Letting go...

2010-06-10T16:13:00.003+08:00

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life.

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves.

It's easy to form an attachment to people and things. When you've formed an attachment to people and things, it can be a very painful experience and feeling when you realized that it's time to let go. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain.

However, there are times where you or that person has changed to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the relationship or friendship, so that each of you can fulfill your life path.

Letting go of your past and memories are also extremely hard. Even though old memories can be tormenting, yet you might hold on to the past and refuse to move forward. However, by refusing to let go of the painful past, it'll serve as a roadblock to love.

Letting go of your old self and the process of letting the new you emerge can be one of the scariest experiences in your life. But by leaving behind your old self and taking a leap of faith into the unknown, it might just reveal what you are truly capable of becoming.

Friends?

2010-04-03T19:19:00.002+08:00

There are many types of friends
Some dare not to hurt u,
coz he/she scared u don't want to be friend with him/her anymore.

Some will just say what he/she feel,
didn't think twice when say something to u,
but sometimes their words hurt.

which kind of friend do u prefer?

上了大学才知道……

2010-03-18T20:41:00.002+08:00

两个天天在一起的人不一定是朋友，有可能什么都不是。
从来不要和别人争论什么，因为那是没有结果的，无论谁对谁错。
手机是有事的时候用的，并不是为了交流感情。
真心对一个人好不一定有回报，而你忽略的人往往有可能是最重视你的。
很多东西是可遇而不可求的，很多东西你只能拥有一次。
原来中学老师教的是那么好，那么负责任。
生活是有很多不公平的，你一定要正视，相信实力和群众的眼睛。
人的性格可以差异到如此之大。
课程会在你不经意间，拉下很多，期末考试前不一定能补回来。
钱用的是那么快，用钱的地方是那么多。
从现在开始应该把握每一个你能把握的人，放弃你留不住的人，不要因为想留住个别人而失去一群人。
自己一定在乎自己的自尊，因为你的自尊在别人眼里根本不算什么。
会遇到许多自己看不惯的人或事，但那与你无关，别人爱咋整随他便，别生不该生的气，不值。
太在乎别人了往往会伤害自己。
可以不把所有人当朋友，但千万不能把一个人当敌人，至少可以当同学。
玩你能玩的起的，玩不起的千万别玩，不然会输的什么都没有的。
快乐常常来自回忆，而痛苦常常来自于回忆与现实的差距。
每个人都是带有“地方特色”的。
每个人都是认为自己的家乡最好，无论他的家乡贫穷或富裕。

Escape

2010-02-27T01:42:00.003+08:00

Today, my mum told me something
which i can't accept it
i knew it since years ago
i thought myself already accept it
but
actually
i CAN'T
when i think of it
tears are running in my eyes
i hope that it was not true
i know
i will know it one day
now
i need time to accept it
please give me some time

what happened to u, my dear friend?

2010-02-25T21:14:00.004+08:00

i'm proud to have u as my best friend
thanks for your sharing
although i can't really read your mind
friend, i hope that you will be happy
no matter what happened
i will always be there for u
good luck to u~

Think...

2010-02-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

When something out of our expectations happened, we will shock? happy? sad? cry? laugh? n bla bla bla...no matter we like it or not, it was already happened.

The problem is can we accept it with a smile? Or...Oh my God! why? why like this..why like that? If i...if i know...what? Regret? There is no 'if' in this realistic world...

How we think? positie? negative? i'm a negative thinker. i want to change. i tried but i failed. hah. lousy me. Is it think positively will make me a happier person? i dont know. since i failed to think..positive.hah. why is it so hard to change our thinking. the way we think. is it really bad to be a negative thinker?

I'm back!

2009-12-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

I visited someone's blog today..know him more than one year but we dont even talk more than 10 words i think. haha..(sure u will laugh at me when u see this. haha.)

It was a long way since i start blogging. But i seldom blog. It depends on my mood. Sometimes i am too lazy to update it. haha..I finished my foundation in teaching. It was fast and great. Gone through many things, many incidents that i havnt met before..so who am i now? haha..

Next sem will be a tough one. I think so. BIG..SPE..are lining up behind me. No matter i like it or not, i have to go through it. Will be back to campus next week..happy or sad? haha..both..

我错了吗？

2009-11-29T15:21:00.002+08:00

一直以来，我都以为只要做回自己，自己快乐，朋友也快乐。身边的朋友不必隐瞒什么，只要真心对待就好。

可是现在我才发现，做回自己有时候反而会给人家觉得太直接，无形中伤害了他人，自己都不知道。我错了吗？

what else can i say?

2009-11-27T11:02:00.000+08:00

I am speechless. Feeling disappointed.

regret...

2009-11-26T12:23:00.002+08:00

I hate the feeling of regret..I shouldn't have make the wrong decision..What else can I say? It is already too late..

Should I tell her honestly? I am an irresponsible person?

I don't have the mood to attend. I am not happy with it...and..I hate it..

What should I do? Accept? Reject? Find Excuses?

The day is coming soon..very very soon! I have to decide!

try this

2009-10-21T19:10:00.000+08:00

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Disappointed...

2009-10-09T11:49:00.002+08:00

Thought that I can go home this weekend...
I need a rest before final exam..
But the reality seems to disappoint me..
Why?
Everytime when i put too much hope on something, it will disappoint me finally..

I want to go home......

sometimes

2009-10-09T01:02:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it is hard. When someone don't understand you. You showed your attitude, but yet, she can't catch it.

Someone keep on 'following' me these days. Oops..not days, is months! Feeling very frustrated. But yet, i don't know how to reject. I scared she get hurt. Someone that is too good to be reject. Then how? This is not called friendship, is called sympathize. I felt sympathy on her and that's why i'm scared to reject.

When she appeared in front of me, my mood changed immediately. I become down, feeling don't want to talk much. Why? Why I can change so fast because of someone?
Is not fair to me right? I can't stop her from appearing in front of me everyday. She is too 'close' to me. I can't stop her from following me!

She is disturbing my life. So much! Because of her, I almost neglected my friends. Why? That's why I said sometimes friendship problems can be much more worse than relationship problems. I don't want my life to be like that. But I don't know how to get rid of her! You can't force me to be so good with you! You are so annoying!

it is so unbelieveable!!

2009-09-30T19:17:00.002+08:00

how you feel about yourself now:
You feel confused, vulnerable and full of doubts, however, all is not as it seems.

what you most want at this moment:
what you most want at this time is for a secret to be revealed, a secret held deep within yourself or another?

your fears:
Ones heart is ruling ones head! You are so afraid of being hurt you are paralysed into non-action. To have or not to have? To stay or to go?

what is going for you:
Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time.

what is going against you:
Life will seem hectic and full of challenges and you will find it hard to have the right perspective on things.

outcome:
Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded.

i'm like the idiot...

2009-09-30T16:54:00.002+08:00

i'm like the idiot knowing nothing...

i shouldn't care so much..

all this end with disappointment..

i purposely do that.

2009-09-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

I can’t continue with my assignments. I realized many things had happened around me. Everything has changed. Everyone also has changed. Me? Am I different from before?

You are my friend since years ago. But, seems like I don’t know you now. You are so different. I purposely do that. Feel embarrassed? I don’t care. You is the one who give me the chance to do it. I want you to know and to show it to you that I am no longer the former me. I have changed. Changed to the bad? Maybe. Who knows? Anyone know?

谁？

2009-09-22T20:32:00.001+08:00

一个一直都在你身边的人，可是却永远不会属于你，这才是真正的痛苦……

执着……

2009-09-19T17:26:00.002+08:00

很多人告诉我他很执着，可是，我不了解……

当我真正遇上了……我终于了解了……

执着是固执的结果吗？

为什么会执着呢？

不甘心？放不下？

我真的那么执着吗？

为什么会这样？

我选择，慢慢放下……

lots of thoughts...

2009-09-16T00:34:00.002+08:00

First..printer..i need u to be alive...please..i need u so much now...

Second..i can go to bed now..but yet..i don't want to..why?

Third..there are too many things in my mind now..i feel uneasy..

Fourth..i found myself changed..and i m happy and also sad with it...is this a good thing?

Fifth..will be going home soon...very soon..but i am not really happy..again..why?

Sixth..someone irks me today...she borrowed something from me since last sem..but i didnt realise it..and she just keep quiet..i feel so disappointed on her..i dont think she want to give it back to me if i didnt ask for it..she thought that was hers..i feel really really disappointed on her..i dont know whether she know that i knew it already..but i will pretend like i know nothing..and i wont ask for it...i will just keep quiet and see when will she return it to me..but honestly..i dont think she will return it to me again..so..if somedays u irks me again..u will taste it soon! dont u ever try to play with me!

Seventh..why is it so hard to tolerate with u?

Eight..why i just cant let go?

The end.

蒲公英的约定

2009-09-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

作词:方文山作曲:周杰伦

小学篱芭旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里

一起长大的约定
那样清晰打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今唯一坚持的任性
在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行

一起长大的约定
那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情还是错过的爱情

08.09.09

2009-09-08T13:34:00.001+08:00

how you feel about yourself now

You want love or a new love in your life and a new relationship is in the offering. Even if you are not thinking about love, you’re in for a surprise. If faced with a choice this is an important one and could affect the rest of your life.

what you most want at this moment

what you most want at this time is success and achievement, and the support and influence of perhaps your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life who you believe could help.

your fears

You are afraid that things seem too good to be true, so much pleasure and joy - well enjoy it, sometimes we can be pleasantly surprised. If you have been unwell this is a time of rejuvenation and good health. Perhaps you are afraid that things won’t actually get better - have faith you are about to enter a happy and pleasurable time. The Sun heralds an ending to difficulties and a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby.

what is going for you

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you

Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.

outcome

A period of dramatic change and upheaval, however this period of change will herald a new beginning. It is time to re-evaluate - sometimes, as difficult as the disappointment has been to take, change can create new possibilities you never dreamed of. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

07.09.09

2009-09-07T08:49:00.002+08:00

what you most want at this moment

you most want at this time is a new start, to close this chapter in your life and have a brand new beginning. This is not a time for regret but for rejoicing. Rewards for past efforts will follow and you are sure to have many opportunities presented to you. Life will pick up a pace and the choices you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour.

your fears

Ones heart is ruling ones head! You are so afraid of being hurt you are paralysed into non-action. To have or not to have? To stay or to go? Throw caution to the wind, great happiness awaits you if you can trust what you feel and ignore the fear and do it anyway.

what is going for you

Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time. If there seem to be a number of positive coincidences happening in your life this is known as synchronicity, go with the flow and trust it.

what is going against you

You are frozen with fear, lack of nerve and confused as to what it is you actually want. You are allowing all your fears and anxieties to hold you back when you should be opening your mind to new and unexpected possibilities. You do need to be careful however, as there are deceitful people around who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains. If in a clandestine affair beware, your secret may be exposed.

outcome

Open your mind and soul to new possibilities this is a time to realise your full potential, follow your instincts and act on your hunches. A time for spontaneity, fun and surprises. However, be mindful of being too impulsive - your decisions should be based on experience and knowledge of self.

06.09.09

2009-09-06T11:43:00.000+08:00

how you feel about yourself now

You feel that the disruption and sweeping change you are going through, or fear you are about to go through, will be catastrophic. You need to recognise that such upheaval can force new directions that you never dreamed possible. Subconsciously you may have wanted change, but as is often the case, the solution isn’t always as we expect. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

what you most want at this moment

The cards suggest apple, that what you most want at this time is some good fortune, a bright and happy future. If you have been ill, suffered bereavement or disappointment in love, your luck is about to change. This is your wish card - it will bring happiness, fulfilment and good health - you may also receive a gift or gifts!

your fears

You are in fear of everything turning for the worse for you, perhaps you are experiencing a run of bad luck. You have to trust that most of what we fear never happens and as The Wheel of Fortune turns downwards against you, the wheel will naturally turn upwards again and bring good fortune to you too. This difficult phase will pass.

what is going for you

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you

It's like you’re in a drug-induced haze - it feels great and always leaves you wanting more. This is addiction pure and simple, whether it's an obsessive sexual relationship, money deals that are too good to be true, materialism at any cost or recreational drugs. Take care - it won’t lead to a happy ending.

outcome

This is a truly creative and fertile time. Expect the best if you are considering having a child, creating a new job or business opportunity or starting a creative project. The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress.

regret? no...

2009-08-24T02:13:00.002+08:00

Suddenly...i feel regret, of my choice. Why? Should i regret? no...coz..i dont have other way to go..or...maybe...haha...

Why? Why i always feel like this? My choice is not good enough? I think about it over and over again. I shouldn't feel like this. I enjoy my life now...but why am i still feeling regret? Maybe, my life is not as good as i think...

Because of my choice..I have been to where i never been before..which i think i would have never been there if i have chosen another path...which were great trips for me! Then, should i regret? Do i have any reason to regret? Blamming my dad for sending me here? Or..

since...

2009-08-20T20:40:00.002+08:00

Holiday is coming. But, i m not going home. I m forced to go to kl for merdeka.I didnt write a long post for quite a long time already..

My assignments are almost done..so i have the time to write something here. Many things happened. I could hardly say how i feel now. I feel kinda tired..and a little bit down.

Somehow, i miss my friends. I wanted to meet them. But i could hardly do that. Not to say that i m not happy with my friends here. They are good friends and i am glad to know them. Just that, i miss my old friends. I remembered the time we spent togather. It was..undescriable.

How about my family? I fall sick last week. And..i went to see the doctor. That was the first time i visit the doctor without the company of my family. I m alone. My parents called me, especially my mom. She wanted to come here and bring me to see the doctor but i rejected. Just dont want her to worry about me. She called me many many times. And..i cried..silently in the clinic. Mom, i love you. I feel it. Mom, do u know why i dont like to go home? I guess u dont know about that. I know that you are not 'controlling' me..but u just worry about me..I hope that u can put more trust on me..

What happened to me? I m like talking nonsense. I have mixed feeling. i found that my life is a bit different now. But, i cant really point out what is the different. Maybe, is only my thinking. Assignments..presentations seem to be parts of my life. Sometimes, i m quite tired of it. What should i do next?

Disappointed..

2009-08-13T14:38:00.002+08:00

i'm disappointed..

for what you have done..
all just out of my expectations..

i don't want to lose a friend..
just i don't know what else i can do..

解决

2009-08-10T18:29:00.002+08:00

分清界线·烦恼再见

无言

2009-08-09T08:14:00.002+08:00

失望，是因为期望太高……
觉得自己太天真了……
竟然把人家不在乎的事当真……

我太傻了，
我想我因该知道
接下来的路该怎么走……

彷徨·无助……

2009-08-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

是谁？突然走进了我的世界……
是谁？让我迟疑了很久……

我……该怎么面对？
我……是否做错了？
我……太残忍了？

一个月过去了，
一直都在彷徨……
我感觉很无助……
我好像……浪费了很多时间……

下一步……我该怎么走，才能走得无悔？

I don't know

2009-07-03T00:17:00.001+08:00

I don't know...

that..

u hate her so much..

and..

i m shocked...

thank you for being honest..

i appreciate it..

2009-07-03T00:17:00.000+08:00

I miss u...

2009-06-30T12:34:00.001+08:00

Friends..

although u are far apart from me..

but..

u will be always in my heart..

i miss u all...

take care..

Feeling tired...

2009-06-23T18:31:00.001+08:00

Feel really tired...

although it is just the second day...

maybe...

the timetable is too packed...

don't like it...

hope this week end quickly...

Yes...

2009-06-20T00:11:00.003+08:00

Yes...

this is what you get from what you have done...

unexpected?

or...

expected?

can accept it?

or...

can't accept...

angry?

if you are angry...

then i will laugh at you...

hahahahaha....

Realistic world?

2009-06-04T22:07:00.003+08:00

A friend...

who wakes me up...

from a realistic world...

are u realistic?

we just need a true friend...

who cares about us..

who gives us comfort...

who let u know that he will be always by your side...

have i found my true friend?

i..

i....

don't know..

True friend..

2009-05-31T00:34:00.002+08:00

U 'sms'ed me...

but i havn't top up..

i can't be your listener...

i feel guilty..

but then,

i think again...

if u r my true friend n understand me...

u won't blame me...

u will understand me..

and not angry me...

so,

just take it as a challenge..

see whether...

u r my...

true friend...

let go...

2009-05-27T03:06:00.002+08:00

i want to let go...
although it is hard...
it is really hard...
it is really really hard...
it is really really really hard...

but i know...

i can do it!

L-O-V-E

2009-05-22T11:10:00.002+08:00

爱一个人，

要了解，也要开解
要道歉，也要道谢
要认错，也要改错
要体贴，也要体谅

是接受，而不是忍受
是宽容，而不是纵容
是支持，而不是支配
是慰问，而不是质问
是倾诉，而不是控诉
是难忘，而不是遗忘

是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代
是为对方默默祈求，而不是向对方诸多要求

可以浪漫，但不要浪费
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手……

If and only if...

2009-05-12T17:01:00.004+08:00

thinking of u...
hope to see u now...

i miss u...
if u r in front of me...
i will hug u...

where r u?
what r u doing now?
i want to hear from u...
r u having the same feeling as me?

when can we meet?
tomorrow?
next month?
next year?
or...we can't meet each other forever?

Quiet night...

2009-04-26T02:35:00.003+08:00

i can't sleep...

listening to the music...

i kept on thinking...

actually...what I want?

i can't get what I want...

that wasn't real...

everytime...my eyes full with tears...

rolling down my cheeks...

when i want to let go...

it just come...

out of my control...

i don't know how to decide...

i don't want to bluff myself...

but actually i m bluffing myself...

everyday...

i know..

nobody can help me...

only me..

can help myself...

i want to tell u the truth...

but...

my heart don't want me to do so...

so...

i keep it quietly...

forever?

who knows u know it one day...

but i don't know when is it...

maybe years later?

or...

u won't have chance to know it forever?

双鱼座

2009-04-16T10:23:00.002+08:00

看过很多关于双鱼的各种传说，分析，解释。似乎无一例外的把双鱼当作了一个女人的星座，动不动就是流眼泪，唉声叹气。可惜可叹，如果双鱼真的只是这样的一个星座，那么可以说没有一个人愿意去做双鱼，而历史上也不会有什么著名的双鱼人物了。

最本质的部分：思考

双鱼座的最本质特点是什么？善良？懦弱？温柔？不是，我告诉你，是思考（在很多情况下，是过多的思考）。
是的，双鱼座的一切特性，都来自于他过多的思考，或许世上没有第二个星座比双鱼座更能洞察别人的心理，更能分析事情的本质。
你可以称之为敏感，但是一旦这种敏感能够正确的使用，那么没有人能比双鱼座更快的学会人情事故，在这一方面，有一个双鱼座的伟人做的尤其出色，他的名字是周恩来。
　　
因为思考的太多，所以双鱼座的人就算不是真正善良的，也至少是表面善良的。对于双鱼来说，善良与其说是本质，不如说是双鱼喜欢的一种生活方式，以善良的方式活着，是轻松而又受人尊敬的，一般的双鱼座很早就能洞察到这一点。
　　
再谈谈温柔，这一点，不管是哪篇文章，都不会忘了提双鱼座的温柔。是的，双鱼的确是温柔的。因为双鱼总能敏感的体会到对方的细微变化，时刻了解到对方心意的转变，表现在行动上，就是能尽快的知道，什么时候应该为女孩披上自己的外衣，什么时候应该停下手里的活，转过身去和女友好好的说话。
　　

与众不同的部分：信仰

双鱼的信仰就是没有信仰！
在双鱼的世界里面，没有绝对的对和错，如果发生了一件事，他第一件做的事情是去理解这件事，去分析这件事，而不是去判断这件事是对的还是错的。
下面引用一段话说明双鱼的这个特点：
“鱼座男人没有偏见，没有亲自穿著鹿皮走几哩路，他不会评断印地安人；没有试试赤脚走路，他也不会评断裸体主义者。甚至这些做了，他还是会满心谅解而不会过于批评。他很少冷酷的指控，倒是每每温暖的忍耐，他甚至会试试了解他的岳母，天底下有几个男人能这样？海王子拥有罕见的同情精神，他的朋友向他吐露秘密而从不担忧会把他吓著，要吓到鱼起码需要两吨以上的炸弹。如果你和我以及你的鱼儿三人同坐一室，一个男人走进来告诉我们他有些担忧，因为他重婚，在四个州各有一个老婆，你可能眼睛瞪得大大瞧他，冒著火，心想监狱是最适合他的地方，我可能鄙夷的说他是个卑鄙的流氓，但你的鱼儿很可能问：“那四州？你爱不爱她们其中任何一个？”鱼很好奇，但防震。对他来说，这个家伙需要一缸子同情以及好得要命的律师。”
　　
有一位伟人利用了这点特性，结果成就了科学史上的神话，他就是爱因斯坦。
　　

双鱼的致命缺点：懦弱

现实中的双鱼座确实给人太多的失望，懦弱，多疑，自卑，优柔寡断，没有主见......一个双鱼座或许没有上面全部的特点，但至少会有一，二个。就算是伟大如周恩来，有时候难免有些优柔寡断和没有主见，当然，这种时候不多。
　　
造成双鱼座优柔寡断的原因很简单。因为同样一个选择，在一个射手看来，只需要考虑2样东西，但是在双鱼看来，却需要考虑10样东西，因为他想的实在是太多了。简单的说一句话，双鱼都会想到它会给周围的人带来多少种不同的影响，它会让人对自己有怎么样的看法，会不会造成误解。（虽然很多时候，双鱼会冲动的把一些话脱口而出）
　　
至于多疑，这点和自卑联系的比较紧密。虽然双鱼座能轻易的了解对方的意图，看透事情的真相，但是却往往不能坚持住自己的观点，这种不能坚持大多数是因为双鱼座自己不愿接受这个事实，也有很多时候是因为双鱼对自己不够自信。关于前一点，比较突出的一个例子是，双鱼座的女孩不到男孩子直截了当的告诉她，他不爱她了，女孩就总是还抱有一线希望，虽然女孩心里明白的很。

懦弱呢？关于这点，和信仰联系在一起。你一定觉得很奇怪，懦弱和信仰又有什么关系呢？
信仰是种很可怕的力量，他可以让一个人做出平时不敢做的事情，拥有不该拥有的勇气，牺牲不该牺牲的东西。而双鱼恰恰是没有一丁点信仰的，就算有，也不过是为了给生活加一点调味剂，或是给自己找一个避难所。对于双鱼来说，自己能过舒适，安稳的日子，比什么都重要。富贵如浮云，最想的开这点的就是双鱼座了。至于爱国什么的，酒饱饭足的双鱼可以慷慨激昂，也会不惜重金施于，但是只是建立在自己有好日子过的前提下。
接下来，可以解释下双鱼的懦弱了。
只要能让自己和爱人平平安安，有什么不可以忍受的呢？什么尊严，什么气节，见鬼去吧。

所以只要不把双鱼逼到绝境，你尽可以嘲弄双鱼的懦弱。每条鱼的忍受范围都不同，但一般都比正常人多那么一点点。但是如果你不小心让一条鱼觉得无路可走了，那么你真的要小心了。鱼可以践踏人间一切法律，无视所有道理，更不会考虑自己的尊严和人格。你务必要相信这一点，虽然这种时候很少，但那只不过是因为上帝不想让人们经常看到地狱的惨状。

双鱼的最大优点：感情

与其说双鱼是个为爱情而活的星座，不如说双鱼是个为感情而活的星座。
对于双鱼来说，世界上最重要的东西是感情，一条精神上满足的鱼，可以没有其他东西，就已经是最幸福的人（当然，绝大多数情况下，没有其他东西，很难精神上满足）。
任何感情对于双鱼来说都是重要的，爱情很重要，但不见得会比亲情更重要，在双鱼的眼中。
　　
对于鱼来说，感情是单纯的，是单独的。鱼可以原谅对方的一切，只要那个人是真心对他好的。你可以十恶不赦，可以吃喝嫖赌，可以之前是人尽可夫的妓女，可以是个卑鄙无耻的骗子，都可以原谅，只要鱼能确定你是真心的喜欢他，对他好。但是请注意一点，大部分的鱼都比你聪明，不要以为你的小伎俩可以骗到鱼，你是不是真心喜欢他，他比谁都清楚。
　　
对于一个男孩子来说，双鱼女孩能给你对于一个女孩子想要的一切，温柔，爱你不顾一切，可爱（很多时候是装的，鱼大多数是很聪明的），体贴......
对于一个女孩子来说，双鱼男孩....嗯..... 看你的运气了，如果你遇到的鱼是个没有志气，不

想做事，玩玩乐乐的鱼，而且他已经25岁左右了，那么好心的提醒你，还是尽早离开他吧。除非你是个富婆，或者你只是找个情人（没有人比双鱼更适合做情人了：安全快乐而无副作用）。否则，你会经历世间最凄凉的婚姻和生活，阿门................
　　
那么如果你遇到的鱼是有事业心，能上进，肯做事的鱼，或者干脆就是事业有成的鱼，那么
真的是恭喜你，你是千万少女中最幸运的一个，再挑剔的女人也无法对一个有上进心有事业的鱼有更多的要求了。你可以得到世界上一切的温柔和快乐，包括用钱买的到的和用钱买不到的，鱼很乐意把他的一切奉献给他爱的人，看到他爱的人开心，他会更开心。大部分的鱼的“一切”仅仅只有感情，而没有物质，但是我们现在讨论的是最优秀的那种鱼，那种能随时把名望和财富送给你的鱼，现在你知道你有多幸运了吧。

提到感情不得不提的：公平

很奇怪吗？公平对于双鱼来说，是个很重要的单词。

双鱼没有普遍意义上的价值观，是非观，你不能用这件事这样做是对的，那样做是错的来说服一个双鱼座。永远记住，鱼的世界里很少有对错。
那么鱼又是怎么来处理他和别人（尤其是爱人的关系）呢？就是公平。
　　
如果鱼曾经有过十几，二十个女朋友，那么他就不会在意你以前有过多少个男朋友，如果鱼一个不小心跑出去玩了一夜情，那么你一夜情的时候，他也会选择无所谓
好吧，就算你的鱼纯情的一塌糊涂，你是他（她）的第一次，他也可以原谅你的曾经花心，一时花心，可能会的花心，只要你能用足够的关心和真心的喜欢弥补。鱼大致兑换了下你的关心（兑换比例只有天知道了，呵呵），如果觉得双方大致公平的（相对于他对于你的感情付出），那么他就无所谓，就会原谅你。
　　
所以和鱼相处是件很简单的事情，只要你能保证你给他的和他为你付出的差不多多，就可以了。至于伦理道德嘛...嗯，讲真的，鱼从来不是教条主义者。
　　
反过来，如果你让鱼觉得你对他的关心不够多，对他的爱不够多（不够多是指没有他给你的多），那么鱼会在痛苦之后，也相应的减少对你的关心和爱，不要怀疑，这方面，鱼比谁都表现的现实和斤斤计较。

感情中的完美主义
　　
鱼在意的东西很少，所以很不幸，鱼对于他在意的东西就是完美主义者的态度。
　　
对于鱼来说，完美的情人不是忠贞不二的情人，不是事业爱情兼顾的情人，也不是外形完美的情人。鱼要求的是“完美的爱”。
　　
你可以不经常说我爱你，但是你说的时候，一定要是真心实意。　
你可以很少陪他逛街，但是你陪的时候，一定要是真的开开心心。
你也可以对他说很少的情话，但是你要保证，你对别人说的情话更少，而且你对他说的是真心的话。
　　
对于鱼来说，欺骗和做作是最不可原谅的。很多人以为简简单单的对鱼说几句我爱你，固定性的发些短信问候鱼，经常为鱼买些好东西就能让鱼觉得被爱了。真不幸，大部分鱼都聪明过了头，一般都能轻松辨别那些举动是真心的，那些不过是手段（如果你曾经用这些手段征服过双鱼女生，也别得意，只不过是双鱼女生比男生更难以拒绝别人而已）。
　　
所以，请诚实一点对待鱼，爱他多少就给他多少，他也会给你同样多。这至少比他生你的气好的多，不是吗？
　　

双鱼真的浪漫吗？

所有的星座解释都会说双鱼是浪漫的，但是所有和双鱼（特别是双鱼男生，一般浪漫都是指男生做的事情）接触过的人，都往往感觉不到双鱼的浪漫，到底是为什么呢？难道双鱼并不浪漫？
　　
我给你个肯定的答案，双鱼绝对浪漫，他脑子里面的浪漫点子不仅包含了所有好莱坞大片的经典场景，还有更多他自己的原创镜头，他时不时的都在幻想浪漫的场面，一个鱼可能在他18的时候就开始想他30岁结婚的布置。
　　
那么为什么现实中是两样呢？因为2点，自卑和善良。
前一点很好理解，大部分的浪漫需要自信。很多时候，不是鱼不想浪漫，而是不好意思和没胆子那么做，你能理解是吧，呵呵。
　　
那么自信的鱼呢？为什么他也不浪漫？
因为他没有遇到合适的人，因为他善良。
　　
双鱼的爱情大部分是有些被动的。鱼总是轻易的喜欢上一个女孩子（注意，我用的单词是喜
欢），然后开始和这个女孩开始交往，然后十有八九，会发现这个女孩不是能给自己完美的爱的女孩（这是肯定的，遇到最合适自己的人哪有那么容易），鱼很现实的知道，他和这个女孩不可能有将来的，2个人能拥有只能是一段回忆。那么对鱼来说，绝大部分的情话都会说不出口，因为鱼自己知道这些话都是骗人的，很多浪漫的举动做不出来，因为鱼不敢让女孩陷的太深，怕分手的那一天女孩太伤心。很多人说处女，金牛的人想的多，其实鱼想的并不比他们少，只不过犹犹豫豫又舍不得的鱼，就算明了的知道和女孩没有将来，也不会点破，只会静静的维持，享受拥有的每一天。但是这样的情况下，鱼的善良就让鱼忍住了很多浪漫的情话和行动。
　　
我这么说是不是显的鱼很高尚？呵呵，没有什么真正高尚的人。鱼能如此的为女孩着想，是因为这么做能让鱼觉得自己很伟大，有一种悲剧式的美感，鱼愿意让自己沉浸在这种自我的意淫中。
　　
当然，这样至少比不顾别人的死活，只图自己开心要好的多是不是？所以还是应该为鱼们鼓鼓掌的。
　　
所以，如果有一天，你看到一条浪漫无比的鱼，不要怀疑，他已经认定你们有个美好的未来，他已经知道他不会给你太多的伤心了，那你还犹豫什么？上去拥抱你的幸福吧。

结语：什么样是好的双鱼？

双鱼有很多缺点，但是大多数都可以原谅。除了2条，懒惰和犹豫。
　　
而双鱼要成为一条好鱼，所需要的东西很简单，事业。
　　
其实不用去提醒鱼们其他的事情了，他们自己都能想明白。只需能保证鱼能稳步进行他们的事业就可以了。
　　
一旦鱼用心去赚钱了，那么他肯定能赚到钱。但是这一点很难，真的很难，如果有一天，你看到一条生龙活虎的鱼，千万不要放过，好好的捆住他，很有可能，他会带给你所有的梦想.

What to do?

2009-04-14T21:57:00.002+08:00

I am too free now...
Although i have something to do..
but...
I am lazy to do it..
Because...
It is not really important...

Long time i didn't have this kind of feeling...
Too free until dunno what to do...

I asked myself..
Am i bored?
My answer is no...

Can i sleep now?
My answer is no...
Sad to say that i am used to sleep late...

As a conclusion,
I feel uneasy...

What?

2009-02-17T21:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes...it is really confused...
Sometime...it hurts...
Sometimes...it is tiring...
Sometimes...i don't really care about it...

Am i a great friend?
Am i satisfied all my friends?
Am i very selfish?
Am i wrong?

What is the best way?
Who do you think you are?
What is your problem?
What do you want from me?

I am shocked...
I am speechless...
I don't know how to move on...
I don't really want to involve in it...

Can i left halfway?
Can i just keep quiet?
Can i pretend that nothing happened?
Can i scold you?

You think you are right in everything?
You think i am on your side?
You know how i feel?
You want me to tell you the truth?

No...i will keep it as my secret...
No...i won't share with anyone...
No...i want you to wake up...
No...i am not like what you think...

So...let the time to prove it...

L-O-V-E

2009-02-06T16:20:00.003+08:00

something to share from email.....

To my friends who are single...
love is like a butterfly...
the more u chase it, the more it eludes u...
but if u just let it fly, it will come to u when u least expect it...
love can make u happy but often it hurts...
but love is only special when u give it to someone who is really worth it...
take ur time n choose the best...

To my friends who are not so single...
love isn't about becoming somebody else's perfect person...
it is about finding someone who helps u become the best person u can be...

To my friends who are engaged...
the true measure of compatibility is not the years spent togather...
but is how good u r for each other...

To my friends who are married...
love is not about "it is ur fault", but "i am sorry"
not "where r u", but "i'm right here for u"...
not "how could u", but "i understand"...
not "i wish u were", but "i m thankful u r"...

To my friends who are heartbroken...
heartbreaks last as long as u want...
and cut as deep as u allow them to go...
the challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks...
but to learn from them...

To my friends who are naive...
be consistent but not too persistent...
share n never b unfair...
understand n try not to demand...

To my friends who are possesive...
it breaks ur heart to see the one u love....happy with someone else...
but it is more painful to know that the one u love...is unhappy with u...

To my friends who are afraid of confess...
love hurts when u break up with someone...
it hurts even more when someone breaks up with u...
but, love hurts the most...
is when the person u love has no idea how u feel about him/her...

To my friends who are still holding on...
a sad thing about life is when u meet someone...
n fall in love...
only find out the end that it was never meant to be...
n that u have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it...

Who else but a friend is there...

2009-01-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

to believe in you,

to share your joys ,

to dry your tears ,

to give you hope ,

to comfort your hurts ,

to listen ,

to laugh with you ,

to show you a better way ,

to tell you the truth ,

to encourage you .

Who else can do that for you ?

That's what friends are for .

曖昧不是愛情 ……

2008-11-14T03:21:00.003+08:00

你们认识很久,你满心欢喜，你开始心怀期待,就连做梦都会笑出来,可是他就是什么也不说,你对自己说等等再等等,直到有一天你看到他身边有了另一个身影,你震惊"不是...这是....我是.....？"

在朋友眼里你们很登对,每次聚会他做你的护花使者责无旁贷,你也发现自己对他有了些些的依赖,朋友关于你们之间无伤大雅的玩笑让你觉得很甜蜜。就在你以为一切都将水到渠成的时候睛天霹雳,他说他从没对你有过这种想法他说这是你的误会。

你呆住了"误会？.....竟...竟然是...误会.....？"

伤心吗?难过吗?痛苦吗?只是,只是谁让你把暧昧当爱情呢？

这是个暧昧横行的年代,感情出现的第三个种类,比友情深比爱情浅，游走于二者的边缘这就是暧昧,是什么时候开始本应是明明朗朗的爱情成了一场麓战,谁先动心谁就满盘皆输万劫不复。是谁把简单复杂化……

其实说穿了
暧昧,是可以推脱责任的游戏,没有承诺就无需负责;

暧昧,是勇敢者的游戏,无畏的人才能在角逐中进退自如;

如果你没有铁石铸就的心肠做软胃甲,那么你就别拿暧昧当爱情...

暧昧是，比好朋友再亲一点，但比情人远一点。

暧昧是, 有感觉，然而，这种感觉不足以叫你们切切实实地发展一段正式的关系。

暧昧是, 明白人生有太多的无奈，现实有太多的限制。你知道没有可能，但又舍不得放手。

暧昧是, 有进一步的冲动，却没有进一步的勇气。

暧昧是，他不是你的情人，但似乎他比你的情人更关心你和了解你。

暧昧是，别人问你们是否恋爱中，你张口结舌。

暧昧是，常常挣扎表不表白。你怕表白之后，你既得不到一个情人，却又失去了一个知心好友。

暧昧是，两个人都会互相猜想。他是不是已经暗示了什么？我是不是自作多情？

暧昧是，两个人没有承诺过什么。但虽然如此，你愿意付出的，比有承诺的情侣更多。没有责任，但你却很渴望去承担，不问回报。

暧昧是，一扇门，你可以停留在门外，也可以踏进房子里面。然后你不可以停留在门下面。门――永远不是终点站。

但，曖昧始终不是爱情。两个人再如何得好也不要改变既定的和谐，也别幻想着角色的转换，否则只有痛苦和失望。如果未曾蒙面的话，就更不该冒这个险了！就把它当作一种友谊，好好的放在保温箱里，给它取个动人的名字叫曖昧。爱昧是你看到这篇文章，会想到的那个人！我们曖昧，我们却不属于对方……有些失去是注定的，有些缘分是永远不会有结果的。确认世间有这么一种情愫，介于友情和爱情之间，它是真正的不能说，一说就错所以我们都选择了没有开始的永不结。

可惜……

2008-11-06T16:58:00.002+08:00

是……这是我的决定……我没有后悔过……但我又觉得可惜……为何会这样？

朋友纷纷地告诉我中六检定考试要到了……全部都很压力……我告诉他们……我已经没有这个机会考了……突然……他们又告诉我……我的名字依然有在……毕竟已经报考了嘛……

我想……考试那天……我的位子……应该是空着的吧……我有一种……一种奇妙的感觉……也许……我只能用可惜来形容这个感觉……

我有一股冲动想回去考试……但……之后又想了想……我还是不回去吧……因为……我将会气死校长……因为把全校成绩拉低……哈哈……

但我敢肯定……这条路是我选的……我没后悔……

Stress...stress...stress!!

2008-11-04T19:10:00.001+08:00

What am i doing now? I dunno...

What i know is...exam is coming very very soon!! Argh....

I m going mad...

过去了……

2008-10-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

终于……都过去了……感觉好轻松……好开心……

下次请你别这样了……我真的好担心……担心你真的离开了……

我会永远爱你……

害怕……

2008-10-19T14:02:00.001+08:00

昨天，我接了一通妹妹打来的电话……

我感到好害怕……我好害怕会失去他……到底它发生了什么事？怎么突然会有这样的反应……

我不希望他在我生命中就这样走了……我好想见他……可是我现在身不由己……我只能默默的哭泣……

Life...

2008-10-18T12:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes…I am really happy and enjoy my life…but sometimes…I feel lonely although my friends are around me…

I feel like my life…still lack of something…but I don’t know what is that…

Recently…many things happened…I entered a competition…that…can train my confident…but…I still have not enough confident in myself…why?

Why I can’t be like them? No need to worry about this and that…and feel scared…why am I worry so much?

After the competition…I also don’t know who I am anymore…I feel that that is not me…and…I am different…still…if I still in the old version of me…I couldn’t survive I think…

This doesn’t mean that I am doing a drama…just…being a trainee…I need to be have more confident in myself…

I am happy that I have a great roommate…if compared to some friends…I don’t know whether I am a good roommate…but…she is really a good roommate…my friends here…also very nice…just maybe we know each other only for about a few months…still can’t be like ‘old’ friends…

I hope one day…they will be my ‘old’ friends…

Feeling...weird...

2008-10-15T17:46:00.002+08:00

After finish my assignments and presentations...i have a weird feeling...

Exam is coming...very soon...haha...now i think is the time i manage my time and start study...

From where am i going to start my study? Opss...i almost forget how to study...coz...honestly...i enjoy too much...

Is it a very bad thing? Ohno...thats why i said...i have changed...

It comes slowly...

2008-10-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

I enjoy too much since middle of July....

Now...the stress...comes slowly...slowly....so scary...

Exam is coming soon...i don't even read a word yet...because...assignments...

I hope that i can finish my assignments smoothly n start study!!

Ahhhh......

Tired...

2008-10-07T00:06:00.003+08:00

Yes...i m so tired...assignments? not really...busy playing? maybe....

I can't sleep early...just that...i feel not worth to do so...i found that myself has changed...better? or worsen? ermm...50-50...

I wanted to cry...but...i can't...can someone tell me how to continue my life?

My life?

2008-10-06T16:57:00.002+08:00

Finally...i am here again...i don't know why i am here again...just...maybe...some reasons for me to be here...again...

I left my blog for almost one year...since...december'07...Wow...soooo long...many things in my life had changed...at first...i can't really accept it...now...i can say...i love my life...even though i dislike my life...i also have to accept it...and also try to love it...and...i make it...

Although i miss my so called 'old' friends...but still...i get to know many many new friends...the feeling is...weird...is hard to describe...i can't imagine how much i miss my friends...today...tomorrow...next year...i hope that my friends will be with me forever...it sounds bad...but...honestly...this is how i feel...i know that this is impossible...one day...my friends will left me...one by one...n they are searching for their new friends...and new life...just like i left my friends months ago...i don't know how they feel...i feel guilty for doing so...but...what else can i do?

I know i go for the sake of my future...3 months ago...i left them...some of them wish me luck...but some...don't really want me to go...because they feel that is not worth...to me...i have no choice...sorry...my dear friend...i have make my choice...how bout u?

WHY??

2007-12-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

为什么我长得越大……烦恼就越多……

为什么人总是有那么多的意见？

为什么人人都要我们去配合他们？

为什么你总是认为自己永远是对的？

为什么你就不能体谅别人？

为什么我要因为你而改变大局？

为什么你就不能站在我的立场想想吗？

我快要崩溃了……

但我知道我不能这样……

我一定要撑下去……

我好希望你在我生活中……永远消失……

Do u believe in miracle?

2007-10-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

YES? or NO?

My answer is...YES...

对不起……谢谢你……

2007-09-09T20:37:00.001+08:00

谢谢你的爱
谢谢你的耐心
谢谢你所带给我的欢乐
谢谢你一直以来的陪伴
谢谢你一直以来的的付出
谢谢你点亮了我的生命
谢谢你在我生命中停留了一段日子
谢谢你让我体会到别人得不到的经验
谢谢你所带给我的一切……一切……

对不起……我错了……
我误会你了……
不管我怎么骂你……
对你发脾气……
你也不反抗……
你也不回手……
你更不把他放在心上……

现在……我知道了……
我很心疼……
我很伤心……
对不起……
我之前应该多关心你……
而不是骂你，更不应该打你……
我不应该把你带回来……
对不起，我错了……
我好想让你听到我的道歉……
但我知道一切都一太迟了……太迟了……

我已做了这么一个决定……
这对你可说是最好的办法……
我非常非常的舍不得你……
我好希望你能留在我身边……
像以前那样…
可是我不想让你再辛苦下去……
我就做了这么一个决定……
我很心疼……

我真的……很舍不得你……
我会永远……永远……的祝福你……

Oh my God...

2007-09-07T11:12:00.000+08:00

I know she is a good friend sometimes…
I know she think that I have changed…
I know she know that some people hate her…
I know she dislike somebody very much…
I know she is so sensitive…

I dunno how to tolerate with her…
I dunno what to do with her…
I dunno what’s wrong with her…
I dunno what will happen next to her…

I wanna shout at her in front of everyone …
I wanna slap her…
I wanna walk out of her life…

I don’t care what she think of me…
I don’t care how she describe me…
I don’t care if everybody hate her…
I don’t care if she still wanna be friend with me…

I am fed up with her…
I am not who I am anymore…

Tagged...

2007-07-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Iwan loooooooong time ago....

5 things found in my bag
- purse
- handphone
- tissue
- comb
- medicine(like panadol…)

5 things found in your wallet
- money
- identity card
- driving license
- cards (like popular n union card, optical centre + some business cards…)
- photos (mine + my family)

5 favourite things in your room
- my collection (like stamps…)
- my bed
- my letters
- souvenirs
- gifts from my friends

5 things you’ve always wanted to do
- successfully bake a fruit cake
- get a complete set of baking stuff
- get a complete set of sushi making stuff
- buy a laptop
- change my handphone

5 things you’re currently into
- start my new life in form 6
- card making
- going mad with my looong hair
- my busy life – tuition…
- make new friends(from other schools)

5 person that you tagged
- nobody la...

Tagged again n again...^^

2007-06-23T21:35:00.001+08:00

I was tagged by "nice" Nard Ge Ge...

INSTRUCTION : Bold the statements that are true to you. Italicize the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the fibs alone.Then, stab 3 people to do the same test..

1) I miss somebody right now.
2) I do not watch tv these days.
3) I wear glasses or contact lenses.
4) I love to play video games.
5) I have tried marijuana.
6) I have been in a threesome.
7) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
8) I have changed mentally over the last year.
9) I curse.
10) I'm totally smart.
11) I've broken someone's bones.
12) I'm paranoid sometimes.
13) I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
14) I need money right now.
15) I love sushi.
16) I talk really, really fast.
17) I have long hair.
18) I have lost money in Las Vegas.
19) I have at least one sibling.
20) I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
21) I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
22) I like the way I look.
23) I am usually pessimistic.
24) I have a lot of mood swings.
25) I have a hidden talent.
26) I'm always hyper.
27) I have a lot of friends.
28) I have pecked someone of the same sex.
29) I enjoy talking on the phone
30) I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
31) I love to shop.
32) Enjoy window shopping.
33) I would rather shop than eat.
34) I don't hate anyone.
35) I'm a pretty good dancer.
36) I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
37) I have a cell phone..
38) I believe in God.
39) I am an adrenaline junkie.
40) I watch MTV on a daily basis.
41) I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
42) I've rejected someone before.
43) I want to have children in the future.
44) I have changed a diaper before.
45) I've called the cops on a friend before.
46) I'm not allergic to anything.
47) I have a lot to learn.
48) I'm shy around members of the opposite sex.
49) I have made a move on a friends significant other or crush in the past.
50) I have tried alcohol before.
51) I own the South Park movie.
52) I would die for my best friend.
53) I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
54) I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
55) I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
56) Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
57) I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
58) I am happy at this moment!
59) I'm obsessed with girls/guys.
60) I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
61) I study for tests most of the time.
62) I am comfortable with who I am right now.
63) I have more than just my ears pierced.
64) I walk barefoot wherever I can.
65) I have jumped off a bridge.
66) I love sea turtles.
67) I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
68) Plan on achieving a major goal dream.
69) I'm proficient in an musical instrument.
70) I hate office jobs.
71) I love sci-fi movies.
72) I think water rules.
73) I went college out of state.
74) I like sausages.
75) I love kisses.
76) I fall for the worst people.
77) I adore bright colours.
78) I can't live without black eyeliner.
79) I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
80) I usually like covers better than originals.
81) I can pick up things with my toes.
82) I can whistle.
83) I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
84) I have ridden/owned a horse.
85) I still have every journal I've written in.
86) I can't stick to a diet.
87) I talk in my sleep.
88) I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
89) I have jazz in my blood.
90) Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
91) I wear a toe ring.
92) I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
93) I am a caffeine junkie.
94) I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
95) I have been to over 15 conventions.
96) I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
97) I'm an artist.
98) I only clean my room when necessary.
99) I like a person of the same sex.
100) I love being happy.

I wanna tag Min Jia and Wei Hern only...

50-50

2007-06-15T17:11:00.000+08:00

I am confused…

The teacher and the president of Buddha Society year 06/07 want me to be the president of year 07/08…what can I do? Accept? Refuse?

Buddha Society is not the same as other society…because…we have ‘shi fu’ (师父)…we can’t simply plan the activities that we want but we have to plan something according to Buddha taught…this is the main problem…for example…if I am the president of English Society…I can plan any activities that I want (I can plan n do what I want because I am the president)…but if I am the president of Buddha Society(I have to follow their plan…don’t want to follow also can…but…to me is like ‘derhaka’…actually i dunno how to reject someone's ideas...expecially shi fu's n teacher's ideas..)…

I am under stress…I have no confident actually…but I will try my best…

Hmm...

2007-05-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

就在刚才……我受到了他（已和我相处了两年的朋友）的信息……他告诉我……他得matrikulasi了……明天就要去了……我当时的心情就是非常非常得难受……我的心好痛……好像失去某种东西的感觉……很无助……

我想了整个下午……心情很差……我为了不让父母知道我的心情……就一个人躲在房间里……借口是看故事书……就在那个时候……我想了好多好多东西……哭也哭过了……我也已接受了这个现实……“人总是要接受现实的……虽然很痛……但一下子就会过去了……”这句是我从一部电视剧的对白学到的……觉得他讲得也有道理……一直都记在心里……

也在这个时候……我发现我一直都依赖着他……想了整个下午……我也相通了……我也很清楚我下一步要怎么走下去……

Orientation Day...

2007-05-17T23:05:00.001+08:00

Orientation Day – great!

I reached school at about 7am…I looked around…none of them wearing t-shirt(means they are not form 6 students)…I seemed like an ‘alien’ walking around the school seeking for another ‘alien’..haha…only at about 7.15am I saw another ‘alien’…huhh…am I too early?

After that was ice breaking. At first, there were only 6 people(including me) in my group…kesian…then 3 people come and join my group…group’s name is ‘wu xian’(unlimited)…yen yen and xiang wei same group with me…

There was a game that we have to search something (symbol, drawing or words) that can be found in our school compound…only that I know that there are many things that I dunno or didn’t even realize although I study in this school for 5 years!! Aiks..aiks…

Then was station game where we need cooperation…one of the game that remain ‘geli’ in my mind is we have to eat something look and taste geli (mixture of banana, milo and water)..imagine that…we have to use the straw to suck the ‘things’…actually the taste is not that bad…but the colour is sooo geli…yuck…

What a great experience!!

Second day in school...

2007-05-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

I am in L6S2…

There is only 26 students in my class…yeah…I like this…I hope the school won’t combine L6S1 n S2…

My class teacher is…is…is…Mr. …..(5A1’06 class teacher!!) omg!!

Mr. Teoh : Your class teacher is Mr….

L6S2 students : Harrrrrrrrrrr…..!!

Let me introduce to u my classmates…

Emm…shy chyi, khuan ning, lip pang, kok jie, jane ying, xin tian, nicholas, bai qin, cheng you, boon khai, hooi ann, cindy, wan li, sue lyn, kar suan, kooi shen, kang ding, wei yuan, shi mei…the rest…I m not very sure, some of then are from other schools…

Tomorrow is orientation day!! Yeah!!

Tagged again...=)

2007-05-16T00:17:00.000+08:00

When I saw the word ‘tagged’ in lene’s blog…then I know…I wanna cekek lene…nyeknyeknyek…

*Actually I wanna post this earlier..but…when I type till the word ‘purse’…suddenly...
'toc'…black out…so sui…haiz…

5 things found in my bag
- purse
- handphone
- tissue
- comb
- medicine(like panadol…)

5 things found in your wallet
- money
- identity card
- driving license
- cards (like popular n union card, optical centre + some business cards…)
- photos (mine + my family)

5 favourite things in your room
- my collection (like stamps…)
- my bed
- my letters
- souvenirs
- gifts from my friends

5 things you’ve always wanted to do
- successfully bake a fruit cake
- get a complete set of baking stuff
- get a complete set of sushi making stuff
- buy a laptop
- change my handphone

5 things you’re currently into
- start my new life in form 6
- card making
- going mad with my looong hair
- my busy life – tuition…
- make new friends(from other schools)

5 person that you tagged
- nobody la...

lene...i m waiting...

My brand new life...

2007-05-15T21:21:00.000+08:00

My new life had just started…

I wake up at 6am in the morning…the first thing…bath! Then bla bla…including tie my hair (hehe..susahnye..the first time I tie my hair b4 going to school mer..=.=) I thought I can done everything in 30 minutes…but…aiya…the time is already 6.30am n I still haven’t come my hair, wear my shoes, tie n …I have to go out early because my dad is the driver…if not… dad might be late to school (kesian…=.=)…I panicked…no choice liao ar…take my rubber band, ribbon as well as comb(most important…) n also my shoes…reach school…my first destination - school toilet!! Haha…

At about 7am…done!! Go to the front of my school hall…to see whether chyi was already there…saw xinyi n zi yang(chua)…about 5 minutes later…saw chyi with her untied hair…

‘ping! Give me the rubber band!! No time liao…quick…go to the toilet(toilet again…=.=)!’

7.30am…we all gathered in school hall…there are students from keat hwa II and Sharifah Roziah…I choose biology class…I will die if continue study physic…hehe…

Really loooong briefing….damn boring…but quite useful…hehe…

Thats all…

U all(my x classmate) wanna know who I saw today?

*wan yen, woan chin, wan teng, xiang wei, shu jou, khuan ning, chu siang, kok jie, ching ying, xiao wei, jia xin, wan li, jane ying, elisabeth, xinyi, zhi sheng, lip pang, ying ying, xin tian, hooi ann, hooi ling, jin xuan, zi hong…I think is enough ady la hor…=)

To be continue…

i m a fortune teller..haha...

2007-05-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

农历二十三日生
此日生人，心境常换，作事不定，多变多变，易与争斗勤励事业，矫正缺点，衣禄有馀，中年平平未运福到，荣华富贵，平安之命

28日出生的我。。
韧性很强，拥有战胜困难的力量。这天出生的女性，常给人一种妖艳的印象。

你富有幻想力，好玩，喜欢寻求刺激，表达能力很强。你魅力过人，身边不会缺少朋友和裙下之臣，有时会因兴奋过度而态度嚣张，喜好得失通常在朋友间都会以玩笑的态度打圆场。你妒忌心颇重，但通常是在男友的故意挑剔下表现出来，你喜欢运动型和富有艺术感的男性。

最匹配的星座：白羊座，狮子座，射手座

最佳男伴生日：3，12，21，30。